Losing The Day

I really liked it and the ending sounds just fine to me. Short but yet you get your feelings across.

Yeah I like it alot I don't think you need to add anymore hun, great job. xoxo Rach

I think its a good ending because it is unpredictable and serves a good point. I think you were maybe too caught up in your rhyming/meter because some lines didnt really follow onto others very well so be careful if you're writing short lines but nevertheless for the structure was very well done. Keep it up!!