Funeral For A Friend

Tears stream down my face.
My body is in agony.
My stomach churns;
My head is throbbing;
I feel like vomiting.
I grab a bag but nothing comes out.
I remember that I threw it up already.
Fresh tears come to my eyes.
Why did this happen?
I lay on the couch, my shoulders shaking.
I burry my face in a pillow and wish this to end.
A knock at the door;
Someone asks if I'm okay.
"One more minute, please," I mutter.
The footsteps grow fainter and I try to dry my tears.
No one will ever see me like this.
No one will ever know that I'm this weak.
I must stay strong.
That's all I can do.
I sit up and rub my eyes.
My body begs me to lie down again but I will myself to stand.
I pull at my dress and smooth my hair.
I paste a smile on my face and walk out the door...
I walk past the coffin and look down at the face.
The face of someone I once loved.
No longer shining with life;
No longer smiling or laughing;
A single tear slides down my cheek.
I don't bother to wipe it away.
A hand on my shoulder.
Someone leading me away.
I have no energy left.
I can't be strong anymore.
I collapse in the aisle and remember no more.
If only I'd died then...