My pain

How have I let everything go this far?
It was never my intention.
It’s supposed to be my secret,
My hate for myself,
My hate for my feelings and actions.
No one was ever supposed to know.
It’s my pain, and only mine.
Why do they pretend to care?
It only their duty, their obligation.
All I need is for someone to love me,
Truly love me, for who I am inside,
Beneath my rock hard shell.
No more lies,
No more deceit,
Just the truth,
It’s all I want and need.