I Have To Be Strong

Emptiness
Hollow
Nothingness
Sorrow

I can feel it there
At the very edge
The knowledge of your disappearance
The pain that comes with it

Holding tight to my emotions
Pushing it away
Locking it up
But it's still there, waiting.

Distracting myself
Going on, an empty shell
I'm breathing, I'm moving
But I'm not really here

I can feel it pushing
Trying to swallow me up
But I won't let it
I have to be strong

I need to be calm
Collected, composed
A confident front
Strong for weak

I have to go on
Live life, watch it go by
There's nothing I can do
But wait for your return

Locked up, it's fighting
Threatening to overflow
With it will come pain
Longing, fear, confusion

I won't be able to function
Won't be worth your love
I'd be weak, a disappointment
Not something that you'd want to return to

So here I am
Calm, composed and in control
Empty, hollow but I'm still standing
Waiting, hoping, loving
The hysteria will be kept at bay