Secrets of a Cutter

It's all coming back to me
in pieces and bits,
the numbing sinsation,
the tears rushing down,
the blood dripping down my skin.
My one escape,
that teaches me with pain
until it drives me insane.
The cold blade that splits
my skin so cleanly.
The blood slowly rises up through
the pink, newly broken skin.
A reminder of the pain, the mistake,
the tears...Aflashback of the
faults and the lessons learned.
Scars form over the once blood-soaked cuts,
there they will stay as my life goes on.
As they multiply my past becomes my present.
All i can see is all my mistakes,
not even dwelling on one thought of good
Surrounding myself in sin and temptation,
as i'm taken over by this familiar sinsation,
that floods my veins and
lingers throught out my soul.
The rush of emotion combined
with the raging tears and
all my hopes becoming my worst fears.
I've lost who i am and what i believed,
the hopes and dreams that made me...me.
The pain from the blade isn't
the sting of the cut,
or lose of the blood.
It\'s the people you crush that care for you,
and the worry you instore in the ones you love.
And you never really stop
because the yearn to cut
is always still there
There are always thoughts like,
"You're Worthless."
and "No one really cares!"
Those doubts that will never
completly disappear,
like the scars on your arms
that hold the SECRETS OF YOUR YEARS...