Because Of You

Washing myself with the towel.
i look down at the scars.
that tissues i have made before.
the pain is getting to my heart.
the hot water hits inside the cuts.
burn the affects off.

I'm screaming deep inside.
the tears fall behind the wall.
like my blood but it sheds.
upon my wall where everyone sees.

no one knows what i am doing.
no one understands why i have.
the pain is deeper then you think.
there's no writing on the wall.
only my blood that i have lost.

i begin to put my pj's on.
while i watch the clock move.
number to number.
tic tic tic tic.
over and over.
it's like a bomb waiting to set off.

i pick up the razor.
not thinking of what is going on.
i begin to understand more and more.
of what i am doing.
i begin to pull off the skin.
the flesh i have once made.

i begin to pour out of anger.
i hate you, i hate you.
i begin to repeat and repeat.
i hate you, i hate you.

the blood is coming out of my leg.
the pain is getting so deep.
deeper then my thoughts of killing you.

you ripped my heart out.
threw it down on the pavement.
hoping i would jump off a bridge.
hoping i would fu.ckin die.
your wrong.
I'm cutting like a worst song.

you can't stop me never again.
you can't tell me you love me.
you can't tell me you miss me.
all you can tell me is a lie.

all i want to do is finish my pain up.
I'll go in to my room tonight.
make myself smile while watching television.

I'll put a timer on the television.
I'll make myself go to sleep.
make myself have wonderful dreams.

but i will take the razor.
more and more.
each day thinking about you.
each day missing you.
yeah i really do hate you.

look at my leg.
look at my wrists.
look at my insides.
there all torn apart.
because of you.