I never grew up a happy child
i knew something wasn't right
it started when i had just turned 4
and they'd argue all through the night
I'd hear the banging from my door
my mother and father would fight
the more they argued and hit each other
the more i experienced fright
i let the situation pass me by
i found an escape for my pain
this was at the time i was 10
and i never was the same
i cried from all they put me through
then i grabbed my scissors blade
and slashed deep marks into my arm-
a gift for my forgotten birthday
then when i was around 14
i had my share of booze
i officially became a "pill-popper"
and had nothing further to lose
at 16 i was in the hospital
my solutions became deadly
the humming in my hospital room
became a sudden melody
by that, i mean that the hospital
endured frequent visits from me
and still there was never a time
when i got visits from family
they labeled me as suicidal
said that i needed help
but i was convinced that i didn't need them
and i could do it by myself
so i never stopped eating my pills
or cutting or drinking my beer
but soon enough, my habits
were drawing my time nearer
it happened all so fast
but i remember like yesterday
when i was drunk behind the wheel
and swerved into the other car's way
so the next time you say your hurting
please....just get help
because i don't want you to feel the pain
that I've gone through myself
so don't think that your the only one to feel pain
because trust me, life isn't worth the stall
i made the mistake of believing in hurt
and that's why I've been through it all.
