To Dad,
I remember I wrote to you many years ago,
I must have been about 8,
Because that was the age you left.
I remember writing to you, telling you how upset you had made me,
All i wanted to know, was that I'm loved.
I waited by my front door every day,
Waiting for a response,
A response that never did arrive.
9 years on, no longer a little girl,
Instead growing in to a young woman,
Planning my future, my life.
I'm going to try and tell you it all again,
I think you should know.
When you left, you impacted us all,
But we would have been OK if you had only come to see us,
To say we weren't to blame.
Andrew, he probably took it the worst,
You were his hero, his role model, whatever you did, he was by your side.
And then you left us, you didn't see us for almost a year,
What did we do wrong?
You've really hurt us, you've really hurt me,
You don't feel like a father anymore,
Just a guy i call dad.
When we spent a weekend with you,
We met your girlfriend for the first time,
You barely spent any attention to us,
Instead you were all wrapped up with her,
I felt second best.
After that weekend our relationship has never been the same,
I bet you think you did nothing wrong.
Hearing my mum tell us about the "real" you and your selfish ways,
How you told her if it wasn't for "her" children, you two would be together,
I thought we were your kids too.
I wish I knew what to do,
If I should forgive you and move on,
I just don't know if I can.
