Am i really dead?

I always feel preesured.. even though I should not
I cant help but return to the razor.... i have got
My world has turned dark purple.. Grey or even black
I can't seem to see the hand in front of my face
I saw the rain falling.. just like my soul
I saw the sun shining.. like i was before
I saw the world turning.. just keeps on going
Just like those deep crystal rivers.. keep flowing
The world continues to turn
But as i sit here.. what was there left to learn?
Funny things happen all in one night
Everything comes at once its never spaced out
Every things turned so dark... Its so dim
I cant really see the living
Dirt in my pocket... As the grass grows above
This nailed down lid i just cant seem to shove
Wow pink lining.. I'm in my birthday dress
All neat and tidy... but stitches cross my chest
Its all dark... no candle for light
All i can feel is this space is tight
Running out of air... getting harder to breath
All there is for me now.. is the dark to see
Here i sit humming.. twidderling my thumbs until three
I am six feet under.. there is only me
They made a mistake i was actually alive
But maybe it was a deliberate... fate made me die
I don't think anyone can here me in this box
Six feet under is not a lot
It isn't far enough away
But i never really wanted to stay
Sitting in my coffin... in my birthday dress
How could i have made such a mess?