Behind Closed Doors

Behind these closed doors,
Are the bedrooms of my family.
The ones that I sometimes love,
Yet sometimes hate to death.
Walking down the hall,
There is the first door I see.
I open that door,
To see who it could be.
And there is my brother,
Reading one of his magazines.
Not paying any attention at all,
To the cries coming from the next room,
Even though he knows,
It could possibly be because of him.
He looks at the wall,
Rolls his eyes,
And turns on the radio,
So he can not hear those cries.
I am so jealous of him,
For having the perfect life unlike me.
I turn around and walk out of the room,
Closing the door behind me.
A couple steps further,
There is the second door I see.
I open that door,
To see who it could be.
There are my parents,
Arguing about something,
And can't even hear those cries coming from across the hall.
I look at my mom,
And think about how sometimes she is the best.
And sometimes think about how losing her would be torture.
But then I think about her bad sides.
She doesn't know how to take control.
She doesn't know how to say stop.
When my brother is hurting me,
Sometimes she just completely ignores it,
As if she doesn't care.
Then I look at my dad,
And think about how much fun he can be.
But then again,
I think about his bad sides.
How it is so easy for him to say no.
And how easy it is for him to yell.
He doesn't care what I want.
There's not a time I can remember,
When he has gotten me a gift.
Not one special gift.
I turn around,
And walk out of their room,
Closing the door behind me.
Then there it is,
The very last door that I see.
I open the door to see who it is,
And guess what?
It's me.
There I am,
With a knife in my hand,
And tears rolling down my cheeks.
There is blood dripping to the floor,
Coming from my wrist.
I walk over to my human body,
And rest my hand on her shoulder.
I realize now,
That I am not human.
My life has come to an end,
And I am replaying my own death,
Here in my bedroom.
There I am,
Making that huge mistake.
A tear rolls down my cheek.
One tear of regret.
Right at that point,
I see myself making that one cut,
The one cut which ended my life.
My terrible life with so many terrible problems.
Family, friends, school, everything.
I then walk to the door,
Take one last look and leave the room,
Closing the door behind me.
The door that I will never walk through again.