Slipping into old ways

Slowly Slipping
Back into old ways
Drifting more
Every day

The darkness consumes
The razor keeps calling
Quickly now
I am falling

Praying for someone to stop me
Before I'm trapped there again
Living my life in silence
A place I've already been

I don't want to go back
But it's not my choice
Depression rapes my soul
Leaving me with no voice

My wrist screams out for help
My razor takes control now
I'm trying so hard to stop it
But I'm unsure how

My wrist is decorated
In lines of crimson red
So many thoughts
Racing through my head

Relief falls over my body
The world seems to freeze
The tears stop falling
And all I do is breathe

I crawl into my bed
Sleeping peacefully through the night
Finally surrendering
Knowing I'll never win this fight

In the morning when I wake up
The panic settles in
Trying to hide
The weakness etched in my skin

I go to school
Stay quiet all day
I know no one will notice
If I have nothing to say

Come home and sleep
Till the safety of night returns
So I can take out on my body
The pain that severely burns

It's starting all over again
Night after night
Cutting up my wrist
For relief and delight