What I'm really scrared of

I know I push you away
and am difficult
I know it discourages you
and makes you think twice

I'm scared of talking
although it's what I want, and need to do

OK so that's not really it
it's not so much me scared of talking
but of actually saying the truth

cuz once it's said
and put out in the open
I can't hide it
I can't pretend it's not real

I'm scared to tell you everything
cuz I'll also be telling myself
and I'm scared of what I really have to say