My Life

I wake up every morning hoping to die
I cry myself to sleep every single night
My boyfriend, my teachers, my family, my friends
no one can see this hell I\'m in

My life is a nightmare but nobody knows
cuz i put on a smile. i never let it show
But it\'s getting harder, I\'m losing the battle
I cant win alone in this fight for survival

Im falling into darkness, my life is a mess
I cant handle the pain, cant deal with the stress
My cousin\'s 3 months pregnant, my mother is dying, my best friend cuts herself, and i break down crying

My sorrow turns to anger, my pain turns to hate
I try to stop myself but it\'s too late
I hit my locker and people start staring
some of them startled, but none of them caring

My eyes fill up with tears as i walk away
my friends ask me what\'s wrong, but i cant say
so i take a deep breath and i tell them i\'m fine
they all let it go cuz they dont know i\'m lying

I wish that i could tell them, i wish they all knew
but whats the point in knowing, when there\'s nothing u can do?
Knowing wont make my mother live and it wont stop my cousin from having a kid
it wont erase the scars on brittany\'s wrists, and it wont stop my brother from swinging his fists

I get home after school; she asks \"how was ur day?\" \"shitty\" is what i\'m thinking, but \"fine.\" is all i say
I slam my bedroom door and i start to cry
i lay on my bed wishing i could die

I go to my desk and i pick up my knife
and i look at the blade that could so easily end my life
I ask God for help as i put the knife away and get ready to face another crappy day