Fear

I always lie awake at night,
In the darkness, with no sight,
I think about what is real,
I think about how i feel,
This feeling inside sticks around,
Taking its form in a permanant frown,
My silent cries become more loud,
As the feeling in side is suddenly foud,
My invisible tears become more clear,
And then i realise the feeling is fear,
I fear what will change,
And what will stay the same,
I fear my laughter dieing,
And my smiles turning into crying,
I fear what will happen to me,
Will i always be stuck? Will i ever be free?
Who has the answers do they even exist?
I try to look ahead but i cant see through the mist,
The only option is htat knife,
To help me see through the mists of life.