Help me

I wish i could tell you what was wrong,
but my fear of dreams has lasted to long,
it is like a struggle to sleep at night,
if i do i dream of a bright light,
i miss not feeling scared and weak,
every day people calling me a freak,
please help me because i hate my life,
if it goes on to long i will pick up a knife,
i feel the whole world is against me,
i'm in a cage and i can't get free,
my cuts are getting far to deep,
with each cut i make i begin to weep,
for a life without pain,
and a life with sunshine not rain