Tear after Tear

My pain was just a memory
Leaving was a fear
My happiness drifted far away
And tear fell after tear.

You will never see the tears I shed
Behind this mask of steel
Sure you may see me smile and laugh
But my pain is quite real.

Too average to be a beauty queen
Too weird to be cool
I'm not the type that guys go for
When hanging out at school.

I'm smart but not quite smart enough
In fact I think I'm dumb
Wound after bleeding wound
And maybe I'll go numb.

I can't stand this life I'm living
I'm tired of being tough
I've held it in there for so long
I'm done, I've had enough.

My mom is going down
My first love made me cry
My dad doesn't seem to want me
So why not say goodbye?

I'm so alone in this big place
I don't think I'll survive
It's hard dreaming things that won't come true
And trying to stay alive.

Goodbye may be my escape
For I'm not good enough here
But nobody will know I'm writing this
Tear after falling tear.