As I Weaken

I thought the words u chose to describe were really effective. great poem!

Beautiful poetry with an excellent sense of word choice. It rhymed well, but a separation in the lines would probably do it better. Still, awesome work! 5/5

I loved this poem!
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As my eyes darken and my heart grows cold. As my days pass and i grow old. My arms grow weak and my legs won't hold. The one thing i ignored was what i was told.
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That was my favorite paragraph :)

My lips get dry and my mind gets frayed. My hands grow weak and my ears delayed. My fear grows heavy and my happiness fades.
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I really liked that part above! It was great~

I thought it was a pretty good poem, but the only thing I would sugest is to capitilise your I's. But that's only a minor thing. Otherthan that, I loved it! Keep it up!

Natalie``

Its a good poem, im not sure about how its laid out, part of me says that each sentance should be a seperate line.. but then another part of me says that it means something how it is grouped.

Its realy good, nice work!