Pain relief

I feel like life is just passing me by
gasping for air in my choking grip
Bloodstained tears i long to cry
Why do i feel my mid begin to slip?

I reach for my nearest source of relief
A razor blade lying on the bathroom bench
I hold it close to my reddened wrist
I slice it in with all my strength.

I feel a tear roll down my saddened cheek
Visions of my life before i died within flashes before my stinging eyes
I need to be free I\\\'m begging for relief.
Why do i live inside all of these lies?

I watch as my blood trickles down the drain
I hear my mum come up the stairs
Why do i feel such distress and pain?
Why does no one care?

My mum opens the bathroom door
Only to see my wrist gashed open wide
She screams and watches my blood spill from my tired hurting body
I tell her i need to do this, all my life Ive cried, i need to be free

She tries to pull me back
I'm too strong, i cut deeper, and harder
I feel my wrist being torn from within.
my soul being forced to bleed from inside me

Life is too much for me, help me mummy help me please
She does not help me but slaps me across the face
Please ,mummy i need this, please,
I remember the words she said to me
Your a disgrace.

Mummy i beg, your the only person i have in my life
I beg and plead for her support
Now the only thing in my life was the very thing that was going to finish it, and that was the bloodstained knife.

You are my son she said
I think of her very words
As i lie here in bed
I think of how close i was to finally ending it all,
Why didn't i take the chance while i could
I can see it in my mind, the dark shadow in the sink, left by my blood.

Its been a week since that happened
I wonder when i can get to the bathroom alone once again
This time it will only take a couple of minutes to relieve my pain
Sorry mummy, i have to do this,
My hurt and pain you cannot dismiss, I will say hello to daddy for you
He died with a razor blade too.

GaRy *W*