To my unborn child (abortion)

I would never have dreamt about abortion.
But at 16 just left school i was so confused i was feeling sick with worry, how can i look after you??
where am i going to live???
where will i get money from to clothe and feed you.

i was happy to have you inside me
untill i saw the disgust on my familys and friends faces,
people stopped talking to me,

your dad was so excited he would have been the best dad in the world,
but he had no job he couldnt drive so how would we survive??

after weeks of feeling depressed i went to hospital to have you aborted,
i no i didnt want to but i wanted everyone 2 be back to normal with me,
i ran out of the hospital u know, but i went back in cos i felt stupid backing out,
when they took me down to theatre i was crying so much i couldnt talk,
i really wanted to say no i cant go through with it,
but i was scared,
when they started with the anasetic i wanted to say no but i didnt have the stregth,

i woke up and felt awlfull i felt empty, i cried and cried and just told the nurses i was in pain.
i regret what i done and im so so so sorry,
you no i think about you everyday
what u would have looked like
if you was a boy or girl
what you would have been when you grew up,

you dont no how sorry i am i dream about you all the time
and i try and talk 2 your daddy about you
he wishes you was here with us

i cant wait till be pregnant again
but that baby will never replace you baby, you was my first, my life, my diamond in dirt and i hope you are some where happy full of love and affection, full of toys and teddys and the sound of laughter.

xxxx gob bless angel xxxxx