I should hate you

I loved you twice as much as her
And I got twice the pain
I never shouldn't have let you in
Now nothing will be the same

I cried for hours over you
Nothing compares to this pain
But when I look back at it now
I see that I'm the one to blame

I shouldn't have been this hard on myself
It was you who crushed my heart
I wish I would've known the what lay ahead
Right from the very start

I should have hated you for what you've done
And how thoughts of you didn't leave my head
For all the nights I lay awake
Wishing that I were dead

I shouldn't still want you after you hurt me
But you are something that I need
And I know I should just hate you
For the times you've made me bleed

I loved you to the fullest
I wore my heart on my sleeve
I didn't even know what hit me
The day I turned to leave

You've humiliated me, scared me
And left me all alone
You've kept her all a secret
A secret that I should have known

You told me to have some trust in you
And You fight with me all the time
But somehow no matter what you do
I'm still longing for you to be mine