Tired Of This

Everyday I wake up with a mask on
No one has noticed yet
I get out of bed, get dressed and head off to school
No one will notice I bet

On the bus listening to my music
Rocking out while people talk to one another
Get to school I'm off the bus
Why do I even bother

I lie all day saying things I don't mean,
Making my life something its not
People afraid of me because I look as though
I'm something I'm not

As school ends and I wait for the bus to come pick me up,
I watch as others leave and see the fruits of my lying as they hit me dead in the middle of my face ...

OUCH

Because of my constant lying
because I couldn't stop
I lost him to her
To that stupid Cretan
that brat
that ... girl
Her heart ...

I have fallen
and now ...

I must get up, try again whether to fail or not I must try because when I stop ... I'll have nothing

So the next day I get up and remove the mask
Somethings different and everyone knows
I've stopped lying and now everyone knows

Theres nothing left to hide and I'm brought to tears
Not once has my wall fallen this hard in so many years

But I will endure the pain and come out better than before
I'll have a heart, I will actually have a core.

And the best thing
Is I can actually feel the good times
I can smile
I can be happy
I can have hope that somewhere
Somewhere out there is a man, boy, male ...
someone that can make me a little happier
someone that can make me smile like I should
and be happy like I should
And love me like I should

So I'm no longer tired of this because this is gone
this mask is replaced by my everlasting need to survive to be myself to be my own.
this is me
and I am happy to be me
I love me
Because I'm no longer tired of this