This life

This life has gotten crazy;
I don't know what to do;
I don't know what happened to the me that I once knew;
I am scared of myself;
and how I am ending up;
I used to be so safe, but now I am corrupt;
I don't know how this happened or that I even had this part of me;
all of my joy and happiness just seemed to flee;
what i had i lost it all;
I carried myself so high but now i just seem to fall;
the doctors say i am clinically depressed;
that just makes me even more stressed;
this life is is crazy;
is it even mine?
everything i wasted wasn't worth the time;
I wish i didn't feel this way and that this is all just fake;
but that is not the reality,
because I am gods mistake;
this life is too full of pain and tears;
this is my life, this is my fear.