I can trust no one, savor a few, for everyone is deceiving. They all wish to use me in some way, shape, or form. I can only take so much, soon I shall just lose all of myself into this one belief and never be able to cope with it all. I will get lost and never find my way back to what so many call reality.
It is a troublesome notion that plagues my every thought. I can no longer rid myself of these feelings. I feel as if everyone is using me for something. They no longer wish to know the real me, the view me as the wish to know me. I am dieing inside and no one can hear my cry.
They seem not to even care as I slip away into my nothingness. Sometimes I wonder if they would even notice if i was to completely disappear. They may wonder for a while, but would all of my "friends" even care? My family would miss me, or at least certain people.
It scares me to know how real these feelings actually are. I hate the way it makes me feel inside.
I am often compelled to hurt myself for reasons that I am unsure of. One reason that seems to actually make any since to me is that it feels better to hurt on the surface of my body than deep inside. I seem to be able to deal with that pain more.
I have been able to fight off these urges, but how much longer can I take it?
