Red Pain

Left from the memories, I cry myself to sleep,
waking in insomnia, in darkness I creep,
why must I feel all this heart ache?
ripping and ripping, I wish it would just break,

as I poise myself with more blood red pain,
dripping like indulgent tainted rain,
why must I feel like my soul is to be slain?
when I pour it slowly down the drain,

my love for you cowers at my guilt,
when you desolate me I begin to wilt,
soft screams echo through my ear drums,
as this cut draws deeper, yet so numb,

when I am but a faded word in your diary,
bleeding in the absence of my bravery,
I cry soft gray tears swirling down my cheek,
my lips quivering as I cut to far, slowly too weak,

must I hate myself now or love myself despite,
as I just saved you the effort to kill tonight...