To Whom Ever This May Concern

by Jackie Marie   Apr 29, 2006


To Whom Ever This May Concern,
My heart is in an aching pain.
I am about to lose my mind,
And eventually go insane.

To Whom Ever This May Concern,
I am lost in a world of dreams.
Wrapped in a coat of loneliness,
How empty my heart seems.

To Whom Ever This May Concern,
I just want to be forgotten.
No-one will ever understand
How hard this life of mine has been.

To Whom Ever This May Concern,
I need a map out of this place.
No-one even wants me here.
I am just looking for a warm embrace.

To Whom Ever This May Concern,
I am no longer who I use to be.
I am no longer that happy little girl.
I am no longer me.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Tricky Daze

    As reading some of your poems..I made a point that you are so good at repetitions and know how to use them well
    And this was so sad and sorrowful like everyone can relate to
    Well done,
    Laura

  • 16 years ago

    by Fsams

    This is very interesting piece. The repitition had a nice function in it. You have managed to keep the rhymes though its not 100%. Its really nice and well penned. 5/5 you got it dear

    With love
    Fsams

  • 16 years ago

    by Fluffy

    A provocative and VERY well written piece. As opposed to your other works, this poem, in my opinion, possesses the strongest flow and sound rhythm. I must say, your wording here portrays a lot of emotion :).
    However, a couple of adjustments are still required. First of all, the title. Now, I was put off a little by reading it. I seriously feel that the 'ever' is unnecessary and the piece will flow a lot easily without it. Secondly, this stanza:
    "To Whom Ever This May Concern,
    I just want to be forgotten.
    No-one will ever understand
    How hard this life of mine has been."

    I would alter the latter line to:
    "How hard my life has been". Just makes more sense to keep it more abrupt like the rest of the sentences there.
    And finally, I would strongly suggest using the appropriate grammar! Lol, as opposed to constantly throwing in a full stop at the end of most of your lines (which tends to confuse a reader), use either a comma, semi colon ';' or leave it blank. Either of these ways and you've got yourself a brilliant poem.

    Other than that, very well done. This was the best I read! :).

  • 16 years ago

    by Kaila

    Very good rhyming
    your such a great poet
    I absolutly love your work
    5/5
    kaila

  • 16 years ago

    by Kaila

    Very good rhyming
    your such a great poet
    I absolutly love your work
    5/5
    kaila