Cutting My only way of life

Cutting is my counseling
my only way of life
to feel the rush of Adrenalin
as i pick up the knife

the pain that comes is like a drug
im always wanting more
this is my closely guarded secret
held behind my bedroom door

no longer can i take this pain
no more my soul can take
no longer can i fake this smile
i have to have a break

but not a two week holiday
or a vacation by the sea
i mean a permanent holiday
somewhere i can be free

death my long awaited Saviour
waiting patiently at my door
has herd my desperate plee for help
that i cant take it no more

so when i say im sorry
sorry for picking up the knife
you should know that i don't mean it
i chose to end my life

*please comment and i promise to return the favour*