I Never Knew

I cried for you,
I never knew.
You were quiet about those things,
I never knew you were in pain.

He wouldn't stop touching you,
I never knew.
He tried to carve his name in your arm,
I'd cried out in alarm.

The teacher saw the self-inflicted cuts,
They were deeper than ruts.
Megan and I are your best friends,
Why didn't you let us in?

Megan called me and cried,
We were afraid you that you might die.
I let her rant, rave, and cry,
All the while inside I was going to die.

Your one of my best friends,
What would I do without you if you were not there in the end?
People think we make an odd pair,
Since when have we cared?

Now we have no idea where you are at,
You haven't called me back.
Now I sit in class and worry,
Wishing time would hurry.

Please don't be mad that I care,
I can't imagine life without you there.
I hold these tears back,
I won't let them make their shameful trek.

Fear and helplessness has enveloped me,
I just want to cut myself and bleed.
Knowing I made a promise to never do it again,
I fight the urge to take the knife and carve in my skin.

People think I love dramatics,
When problems arise my mind goes into automatic.
You've been there for me you know,
Now let me be there for you now.

I seek shelter from this emotional storm,
Pain, anger, hate, helpless, hurt all begin to swarm.

It's time for me to break out,
Kicking and screaming as I break out of this emotional barrier with a shout.
Time to shield my heart with ice,
I'm tired of being nice.

I'll wait for your call,
Never letting a tear fall.
I won't be suppressed by my fears at all,
Maybe I'll let a few tears fall.

* For Maggie and Megan*