I\'ve Been Dead a While

I've been dead a long while now
Back when I was eleven
I do believe that rope hung me
But I didn't get to heaven

Living in hell all this time
Somehow my blood still flows
When I cut with grief
Staring at the world through the windows

There's a life
That coulda been mine
But fate got me chained
Left me to rot all this time

I ain't never gonna be
The actress I coulda been
That little thing, well,
It'll always be just a dream

I've shed far too many tears
Over the life I lost that day
If God wanted to punish me
Boy, has he had his way

I'll drink myself stupid
Cut till I grow faint
But I'll never say this is living
When I know damn well it ain't.

© Copyright Sharon Ardern