I liked it it was good it flowed nicely but some of the rhymes im not sure they really fit where you put them maybe a bit forced? look into that next time still a very great poem 5/5

~!*FallenTears~!*
~!*Meaghen~!*

Wow. Thats really sad. I hate parents who hit there children and things like that.

You did a really good job on this poem. I could really feel the emotions of what those young kids must have been feeling. Awesome job! 5/5

`taleee xx

Shit... that was a very freaking awesome poem.....
wow... thats all i can say
WOW
u r such a great writter! im jelous!
5/5
xoxoxo

This is a really sad story, and it happen so often. I really wish things like that didn't happen at all. So many broken homes and whatnot. I'm really sorry, if this is true. I know many people in that situation and it hurts me to know what they go through. A good write, loved the rhymes and the storyline. Great job!

Really sad story but sadly these things happen. Wish you could have gone into a bit more but other than that nothing felt forced and the ending was uplifting if only that the children survivied and not all of the family =[

Wow... i love it... great rhyming... i hope thats not something you had to go thru :( well 5/5 definately.

If you don't mind some word suggestions. Firstly in this line:

"For he will be the replace of their mother"

'replace' should be replacement (if it's spelled right). And secondly:

"His the one his own children despise"

'His' should be He's. But other than that and some of the forced sounding flow it was cool. It's really not much of an original piece until the fourth stanza which was a brilliant twist. Nice job with that.
~Fallen

Great job on this. It was really sad. It was filled with emotions and really kept my attention. The flow and rhythm of it was really good & held up well. Great job on this!

That's a sad poem, nice imagery, and nice format, and lalalala. All that good stuff, lol.

I liked the topic even though it's a bit over-used.

Great job though.

Keep up the good work.

I also liked how the rhyming scheme was:
A
A
B
B

Aww thats so sad!!!! Great write hun. Keep it up hun.

Very good poem...i loved the description and rhymes. you have a good format for this, and nice visual effects. neways, nice poem 5/5

Very sad. Good writing though. Try to eliminate smaller words. Increase your vocabulary. It will give it more appeal, as well as make it stronger and create more flow, for this poem and for you as a writer. Keep it up.

Wow that was so sad very deep though amazing job keep it up love the rhyme

Oh wow, that was so good! i loved everythin about it 5/5!

That waw awsome!! It was so sad. I loved it! It had a nice flow to it. I liked the descriptions. You are really talented keep up the great work! 5/5

Oh this is sooo sad. def well written there are tears in my eyes.

Very very nicely writen.It flows pretty well..a lil choppy at places but good.It also has a story to tell which is always good.Also,nice use of words in this poem as well.You're a very talented poet..Keep up the good work

Wow---im speechless-That is so sad and so well written. There are a couple grammatical errors, but nothing big. Great job! 5/5

Thats So Sad!...I Hope This Poem Isn't True...I Wrote a Poem Similar To This About Murder But Its Not Good As Yours...I Think That Its Really Awful How Murder Has Become a Common Crime In This World...Keep Writing It Becomes You *Winking*
Talent Never Dies When Your Born With It 5/5 xoxo-Nikki-xoxo

Omg...this is so sad! did this happen to you...if it did i am SO sorry...i mean...even though my dad is a drunk...he doesn't hit me a lot...at least not for a long time...of course...that could be because i don't hang around him...anyways...excellent poem...it truly touched my heart...masterful details and imagery...it swept me up with the first lines...i loved it...5/5.