Consequences

I'm looking around
shocked I see
a casket
surrounded by friends and family
my parents sit in a lonely corner
Father's weary
the picture of a lonely mourner
Mother wails "She was so young"
I want to scream
"But I still Am!"
I turn searching for an explanation
and watch my best friend
place his hand upon my coffin
"I'll all always love you babe"
the tears stream down my face
I sink to my knees
and I beg for forgiveness
I ask God please
but I know it's no good anymore
and sink to the floor
this battle I have not won
my actions are permenant
this can never be undone