My Horror

I look at you and the words you told me..
I hear them echoing in my mind as I sit in the darkness..
I sit alone curled up in the corner of my room..
Alone..
Afraid..
Depressed..
Lifeless..
I look at my arms, tracing the scared patterend with my finger tips left by the blade..
People thought I was a freak for doing it..
They looked and laughed and called me names..
But they will never get it..
They walk around thinking they are everything when really they are worthless trash..
Did they think I wanted to do this?
Did they stop to think why I did this?
Probably not..
They too selfish to think about others besides themself..
I didn't need them anyways..I always had him..
Until he turned his back on me and lied through his teeth..
Said he would always be with me..
Always said he'd loved me..
When really I was just a pawn in his little game.
Everyone tried to warn me..
I just thought they were jelouse becuase I was happy for once..
Man..I was such a fool to beleive in you..
No matter what..I still have your words echoing in my mind...
I can't take this shit no more..
Look at me..I'm unstable to live among the living..
I see you walk through my bedroom door, and I slam you against the wall..
I yell and scream at you, only seeing through your eyes the hate that was growing.
All of a sudden I see your being fall to the ground..
Did I do the unthinkable?
Did I seriously finaly snap?
Did I really have that much hate for him?..
I look at the blood covered knife in my hand and drop to the floor..
I find myself screaming for you to be okay..But why..I hated you?..
As my tears fall to the ground like heavy rain, I crawl back to my corner clutching the knife..
As I stare at your lifeless body from across the room..
I can hear people yelling at the door wondering what the screams were about..
I stay in the dark, ignoring them..
I hold the knife close to my wrists, hoping that I'll slip away from this bullshit..
I dig it in deep, seeing the blood fall to the floor quickly..
I drop the knife leaning up against the wall as the world around me starts to spins..
I close my eyes tightly as my breathing slows..
I finally slip away from this horror that I have caused..