Crash Then Cry

I feel brand new
and tied down
all at once.
I'm trying to live
without regrets.
I'm trying to accept
the past.
I'm trying to be
something I'm not.

I feel so fake
and yet so clear.
At times I want to
break down
and others
I just want to laugh 'til I cry.

These emotions
are so mixed up
that I don't know how
I should feel.

I believe I am now
watching myself crash.
Make a right turn here
and a wrong one there.
Skip a stop sign
then ten miles later
slam on the brakes.

I ride with my eyes blindfolded
because this is what
I have always wished for.