Deep in my head, The true story

Deep inside my head,
Is where I always hide.
So no one sees me sad,
They fall for all the lies.

Out in public, I laugh,
I usually always smile,
If you believe these lies,
You aren’t worthwhile.

In my mind I have freedom,
If I cry inside, It’s fine,
No one will ever know,
The feelings that I unwind.

In side my head I usually,
Feel as though I’m dying.
Surrounded by problems,
Depression and crying.

At school I try not to show,
Any depressed emotions.
I know that if I do show,
It will cause commotion.

Everyone will wonder,
“What’s wrong with her?”
As if I’m the last person they,
Would think is feeling hurt.

I promise those are all lies,
Because that smile is forced.
I come home after school,
To hear the threat of divorce.

Every week my parents fight,
Over some stupid things,
They don’t realize the pain,
The sadness that it brings.

So then I try to solve it,
This deep, harmful mess,
Only to find out that,
I never realized the deepness.

He says that she makes him,
More miserable each day,
She says if he doesn’t leave,
She swears she’ll run away.

So I crawl into my head,
With no motivation to return.
I feel like there’s a hole in me
I feel like I’ve been burned.

To make things worse my,
Best-friend likes to cut,
To release all the pain,
And anger that she’s got.

I keep telling her to stop,
This is ruining her life,
But she won’t listen to me,
She listens to her knife.

And as if cutting her wrist,
Wasn’t doing any good,
She stopped eating lunch,
She threw away her food.

So then I started to wonder,
At home, did she eat dinner?
‘Cause it was really obvious,
She was definitely thinner.

She missed a week of school,
So then I asked her sister,
She said she was at Riley,
But she couldn’t take visitors.

It was all a lie, I talked to her
Boyfriend so that I knew,
She was at a special hospital,
She lived there too.

He said she was starving,
And burning herself too,
So her parents sent her there,
To learn how not to.

Not only was I disappointed,
In both her and in me,
But to know she didn’t want
To tell me was shocking.

What ever happened to,
“BFF until the end”,
“Through no matter what,
We’ll always be friends.”

It doesn’t matter anymore,
Now with her new life.
I beat she’s extremely happy
With her friends and knife.

I know she doesn’t want me,
Bossing her like her mom,
Telling her what not to do,
Reminding her what’s wrong.

But I’m really worried about
Her, I really do care,
And no matter where or when
If she needs me I’ll be there.

Yeah, my life sucks,
I really do hate it a lot,
Most people don’t know it,
There’s a lot of pain I’ve got.

That’s why I like staying,
In my head, where I release,
The pain and anger in my life
That’s buried underneath.