Urges

I get the urge when driving,
To simply plant it and let go of the wheel.
Maybe finally losing control,
Would rid this pain I feel.

I get the urge when lighting fires,
To go ahead and burn myself.
Sometimes I do, and some how,
The physical pain helps.

I get the urge when cutting up stuff,
To drag the knife hard across my wrist.
And when Im in my room alone,
This urge is hard to resist.

I get the urge when running a bath,
To lay down and go under water.
If Im under there long enough,
Mum will lose her daughter.

I am always getting the urge,
To cause myself pain.
I remember being happy,
Hurting myself and being happy feels the same.

I must sound crazy,
To those who dont know what it feels like.
Those sane people,
Who dont cry themselves to sleep a night.

Im sick of feeling pain,
I want to have control.
Please, this urge must leave,
RELIEVE MY SOUL