Painting my Today

Today I was painting a picture, shading it
with cool blues and the easings
of crimson as it fades slowly into gold.
I painted, without realizing it,
all the laughter in the world leading
back to the same joke you'd repeat
all day with closed eyes
then I'd dabble my brush with a little blue, dipping
into the seas, and with a swirl
your eyes would open as a wave
breaks on the shore of a sandy, glittering
paradise. I swaddled the canvas with grief
and open arms and tired syllables
stuttering; I traced a velvet sheen
across the wings of a black butterfly
fluttering inside your chest, and for you
on this morning, I sketch a beginning
so new that before I know it, you're shimmering
engulfed in flames and curling at the edges.
I turn the page: between my fingers
it crumbles into a soft and smoldering ash