Does it Scare You?(Lurking in Darkness)

by Lauren Waszkiewicz   Jul 7, 2006


Contest Poem
For the contes the title was Lurking in Darkness. but now i like Does it Scare You Better
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Lurking in the darkness,
It appears only at night.
Waiting, stalking,
It cowers in the light.

Does it scare you?

Lurking in the darkness.
its waiting for you to arrive.
Decieving, Watching,
You will not survive.

Does it Scare you?

Lurking in the darkness
It preys on the young and old.
Hunting, Preying,
it turns passion deathly cold.

Does it scare you?

Lurking in the darkness,
its about to strike.
Attacking, Killing
its love and hate alike.

Does it scare you?

Lurking in the darkness,
Can\'t You tell its me?
This is the truth
of what i truly love ot be

I've been waiting, and stalking,
I've been decieving, and watching,
I've been hunting, and preying,
I've been attacking, and killing.

Do i scare you?

-Under Constuction-
Please Wait to vote until its done.

Thanks,
The Management
lol
(xLaurenx)

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Romancing the Darker Side

    This poem was very suspenseful, and I loved the little twist at the end.

  • 17 years ago

    by xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex

    Lurking in the darkness
    It preys on the young and old.
    Hunting, Preying,
    it turns passion deathly cold.
    ((Your weakest lines.. Not horrible, though. Just not the best. =]))
    Attacking, Killing
    its love and hate alike.
    ((The best lines.. I loved them. They simply captured me.))

    I'm not sure how I feel about this. I know I like it, rest assured, but somethings missing. Maybe more detail/explination to exactly what your talking about? I don't know.. Good luck. It still deserves a '5'. Sorry you got downrated.

    xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex 5.5

  • 17 years ago

    by Manik

    Light shouldnt play with darkness if not embraceing him

  • 17 years ago

    by Lauren Waszkiewicz

    Cory-Thanks for the tips. im going to change it alittle bit, youre right, it goes no where, i think im going to add like 4 more stanzas to explain and add details.
    Thanks

    xLaurenx

  • 17 years ago

    by Cory Mastrandrea

    Great build up, I thought your repetition was used very well, and your rhyme scheme was simple yet good enough to pull your stanzas together quite nicely. However, the build up I thought went no where. I was disappointed with the ending. I don't think it was dramatic or emphatic enough for all the hype in the begining and middle of your poem.

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