Hoping and wishing

I've given up on trying
it only leads to more pain
I've got so much to lose
and nothing to gain

i see no point
in trying to fake a smile
optimism
is just a form of denial

they say time heals all wounds
but for me so far
all time has done
is turn them into scars

scars that remind me of what i'd like to forget
ringing in my ears
with songs of regret

i am like a ghost
transparent to all
they're deaf to my screams
they can't hear my call

painful disappointment
is all that comes from hope
there's no simple answer
there's no way to cope

i wish the mirror
wasn't my worst enemy
and i could escape
all of my agony

if only apologies
worked like bandages
i could stop bleeding
my pain would end

sometimes i dream
that there's an escape
a way out without death
a new route i could take

but there's no hope in dreaming
when nightmares exist
hoping and wishing
won't end any of this