The day i committed suicide

(wrote this when i was 13 years old)

the time i committed suicide
my thoughts were blank and nothing was on my mind

i had planned it the night before oh so carefully
no one around to stop me

that night i made a long letter and my will
because the next morning i only had myself to kill

the world was not my home because i had no love to call my own
the world was not my life because all my friends and family did was cause me strife

there i was sitting in a blanket that was cold and tight
i guess my guardian angel never spent the night
because in the morning i was still shackled and confined from the sunlight

then i looked out my window to find my sky cloudy and gray
because once again my rain clouds have come to play
so i knew it was going to be a rainy day
but that didn\'t make me sad for in a few hours i would quickly pass away

as i watched the rain drops fall down i realized that they told a story
they told me no one would miss me because i had no glory

as i put my hand on the window pain
i realized from this world i had nothing to gain
and as i did i oddly felt sane
because before i felt numb and hardly felt the pain

all my life i was deceiving
and on the inside i was screaming
but now was the perfect time on the outside to begin the bleeding

it was strange
i thought i heard death whispering in my ear
telling me that no one could stop me because they weren\'t here
he also told me to make it quick and not have any fear

for then i grabbed the knife and plunged it deep into my chest
the last thing death told me was \'you may lay down to rest\'

i fell
but i was still breathing
i lay there helpless
as i watched my blood trickle down my side
i knew i would soon see black and fears would subside

poeple always said keep faith and god will be your guide
oh how they had lied
he made everyone i\'ve ever loved leave me
i had perfect sight but i couldn\'t see
for that is the day i committed suicide
and now my soul is drowning forever in eternity