My Wall Breaks Free

It's a sunny day,
feeling fine.
Something tears at my heart,
holding back.
but letting the tears flow.

Sitting on a dirt road,
need to be alone.
What happened?
My emotions are breaking free.
Once again...

Something triggered my wall,
I had to let it break.
Feeling so alone.
There are so many that care.
So many who know.

Yet I have no clue.
The depression comes and goes.
Sometimes fast, sometimes slow.
I call the one I should not.
He says he'll call back.

Waiting and waiting I give up.
For only a very thin line.
When I think I know him,
my wall breaks down.
I have failed once again.

When I need him the most,
he is never there.
He is where he wants to be.
When I feel like I can make it,
he calls and lets my wall break free.

ctc 8-3-06
I don't like the format of this one, but the meaning is so powerful to me.