I like the colloquial vocab style. I like what you say in this and can totally identify.
Nice job. Keep it up.

I liked the idea of this poem, and it could be very beautiful and inspirational if you cleaned it up and bit, you shouldn't use slang and swear words in your poetry, i find it less attractive to read. But i guess it's your work and Im no one to judge.

--Steph

Love the poem. its sweet and words are well put together...nice flow..keep it up!
xxx

Very nice poem. Emotional and full of powerful words.