I like this poem, although I couldn't really tell if it had a constant rhyming scheme, or if some words just rhymed by accident.
Anyways, the words that rhyme, in my opinion they weren't that good of rhymes, and could use a little work..
This is the first poem I have ever read by you, and I like this poem a lot.
How descriptive you were in this poem made me feel the 'sadness' and it was wonderful and miserable at the same time.
The only thing I can really say is that the ''Away From You'' ending was a neat, quick, and clean way to end the poem and I liked that, although making each word a seperate line kind of took away from the flow.
I think that could be fixed by making it all on one line, but that would take away the effect...So, your choice.
Anna this poem is viberant, and leaves me terribly worried. I hope I get a relpy email from you soon. If not I'll send another one. But Hang in there. and remember you need to talk I have the ears to listen.
No reasoning to the slices,
No matter what she tries to prove.
Of course it will make things worse,
But what has she got to lose.
Aw hun im so glad i read this its magnificent, sorry i havent been online much lately, i missed u all so i decided to log on tonight eventhough its fairly late at night/in the morning lol, this poem is amazing, so emotional and beautiful, i lovedd it, keep it up take care, and PM me sometime, take care,xxoo
Hey baby! You changed your name. Sorry I haven't been around lately, I just moved to Colorado in the USA from New England and life is pretty crazy. I don't have internet right now, but I am in school so every now and then I can get online here. I am sorry you are going through such a difficult time, remember how much I love you. *hugs* Can I do something to help you? Do you have AIM? If you do please don't hesitate to talk to me. (whenever I end up getting internet, lol.) My sn is angelhiei39611. Also sweetie there is a sight that you might find interesting and helpful, at least I know I do. It is www.recoveryourlife.com It is a site that discusses self harm to help people understand it, to get support and to help the healing, quiting process if desired. There are penpals and discussion boards and chatting with people who just understand what you are going through. It goes through all topics like abuse, eating disorders, cutting,burning, and basically most any aspect of self harm there is. My name there is Tainted Miko like here, so if you want you can look me up. Remember I am here as much as I can be, and remember I love ya A LOT!