Comments : Four Walls

  • 13 years ago

    by donk2ymouth

    I like this poem, although I couldn't really tell if it had a constant rhyming scheme, or if some words just rhymed by accident.

    Anyways, the words that rhyme, in my opinion they weren't that good of rhymes, and could use a little work..

    This is the first poem I have ever read by you, and I like this poem a lot.

    How descriptive you were in this poem made me feel the 'sadness' and it was wonderful and miserable at the same time.

    The only thing I can really say is that the ''Away From You'' ending was a neat, quick, and clean way to end the poem and I liked that, although making each word a seperate line kind of took away from the flow.

    I think that could be fixed by making it all on one line, but that would take away the effect...So, your choice.

  • 13 years ago

    by Pure Silence

    Anna this poem is viberant, and leaves me terribly worried. I hope I get a relpy email from you soon. If not I'll send another one. But Hang in there. and remember you need to talk I have the ears to listen.

    No reasoning to the slices,
    No matter what she tries to prove.
    Of course it will make things worse,
    But what has she got to lose.

    very haunting.

  • 13 years ago

    by Avellana

    No taste, smell, touch or feel,
    No evidence of common sense.''

    :( Once again, awesomness. :)

    I think your 'writing knack' is back with a vengeance. :D

    {smilies will save the world one day, just a matter of time}
    xxx

  • 13 years ago

    by Nee

    Awwwww hun, what a beautiful piece!
    very wonderfully written and well expressed!
    I love the last line"away from you"
    perfect work gal, you rock!!

    what about your results?? and have you taken your holiday or not yet??
    hope you're enjoyin' your time
    best of luck
    Love U
    NemO XxXxXxXxXxXxX

  • 13 years ago

    by mevstheworld

    What are you W*nkers noking this poem for? it was obviosly writin from feelings, anyone got a problem with that?

  • 13 years ago

    by BeautifulDisaster

    Aw hun im so glad i read this its magnificent, sorry i havent been online much lately, i missed u all so i decided to log on tonight eventhough its fairly late at night/in the morning lol, this poem is amazing, so emotional and beautiful, i lovedd it, keep it up take care, and PM me sometime, take care,xxoo

  • 13 years ago

    by Trampled Angel

    Hey baby! You changed your name. Sorry I haven't been around lately, I just moved to Colorado in the USA from New England and life is pretty crazy. I don't have internet right now, but I am in school so every now and then I can get online here. I am sorry you are going through such a difficult time, remember how much I love you. *hugs* Can I do something to help you? Do you have AIM? If you do please don't hesitate to talk to me. (whenever I end up getting internet, lol.) My sn is angelhiei39611. Also sweetie there is a sight that you might find interesting and helpful, at least I know I do. It is www.recoveryourlife.com It is a site that discusses self harm to help people understand it, to get support and to help the healing, quiting process if desired. There are penpals and discussion boards and chatting with people who just understand what you are going through. It goes through all topics like abuse, eating disorders, cutting,burning, and basically most any aspect of self harm there is. My name there is Tainted Miko like here, so if you want you can look me up. Remember I am here as much as I can be, and remember I love ya A LOT!

    Always,
    Tainted

  • 13 years ago

    by Nicole Maree

    This was such an amazing poem. Luv Nicole =)

  • 13 years ago

    by Sungrl And Mrs Whatsit

    Outstanding poem.......It's October now....I really hope you're feeling better......

    Do Not Despair.....There Is More To Life Than Suffering....Strive On.....Please.

  • 13 years ago

    by dora

    Hey darl this was really touching and powerful. very well written keep it up xx

  • 13 years ago

    by FireCracker

    ABSOLUTELY AMAZING...
    I felt so touched... that was so powerful and the way you worded it was outstanding..Gr8 Work!

  • 13 years ago

    by PURE HEART

    Thats so dark and tiouching as well!
    visited this site after a long time and feel glad to see all my favourites still writing. superb work dear!

    luv

  • 11 years ago

    by Sourav

    This poem has so much of emotions. And the feelings of utter loneliness. Liked the lines. It's good poem to me.