Hand in Hand

So today
The last train to Wulumuqi left
At two o'clock sharp
Missed it again
Missed it
Just keep missing these days
So here I stand
Not really sure if I should leave
Not really sure if I should stay
Just trying to clear my head
So clouded
Clouded
Clouds
So much prettier than home
The sky is so
Blue
Blue like the ocean
The clouds just tiny white specks
Trying to keep afloat
Each time a new wave of color
From the outside world
Pours into that blue oasis
I'm only being rational
Thinking about
China
Thinking about
Him
Trying not to think about
Him
But it's not working so well
These days
Have I really
Changed too much to see it in the mirror?
Would I have ever seen it?
Do my eyes look a little more alive?
Is my hair a little more gold?
Maybe I'm taller?
Shorter?
Are my sighs more drawn out?
My thoughts run deeper
Than any river I've almost fallen in
Dreams skyrocketing higher
Than any mountain I've climbed
My ambitions more dangerous
Than any winding Sichuan road
Maybe I'm ready to live my life
Every single day of it
As if there weren't any more days left to live
No time to waste now
I'm ready to see the world
For what it is
Ready to embark on something
Some noble quest
Well maybe not noble
But I promise this:
One day I will
Take my dad to Greece
One day I will
Take a 24-hour train ride
Through northern China
One day I will
Forget my lists
Forsake my plans and just go
I asked him
What he was doing this summer
He said
"I'm going to buy a sailboat..."
As we walked lazily through the dark streets of Beijing
Winding through the crowds
Hand in hand
He said
"Someday I'll show you Taiwan,
Someday, kid..."
I sincerely hope that's true
Did you hear that God?
Consider this my prayer
And consider this my will:
One day I will
Walk through the streets of Taiwan
With that boy
Hand in hand.