Carousel

Well the future's got me worried;
Such awful, gory thoughts.
My head's a carousel of pictures,
Where the spinning never stops,
I thought I'd be comforted,
By the warmth of reminiscing,
But every time I pass a scene,
I know there's something missing.
Sometimes I just want someone
To walk out right in front of me,
I'll play follow the leader,
Like my childhood memories.
It's not so easy anymore.
I can try and live in darkness but,
I'll never shake the light,
Make demands to drag the sunrise down,
When I wish the day were night;
I don't hold that kind of power.
Shouting, screaming and stomping around,
That'd be nice right about now,
But I can't breathe for these words
Stuck firmly in my mouth,
I'd rather keep myself to myself,
Than risk an avalanche of opinions,
Weighing me down like a school boy crush.
Yeah, it's true, I should be brave,
But I'm so afraid of all that's changed,
All I do is lay in bed and hide under the covers.
It's hard to focus through all this doubt,
I keep adding to my 'To Do' list
Where nothing's been crossed out,
If I forget to take a breath,
And I collapse out of turn, I apologize,
Spinning in circles gets old after a while.
Right now, I have to crawl
To get anywhere at all,
So if I let you down, you had it coming.
I'm not as strong as I thought,
I will let you down,
When the carousel stops playing,
I'm not as strong as I thought,
And the music can only carry me so far.

Shutupnow.