Here I sit, alone again. I can't say I'm surprised, because I'm not. I saw it coming since the very beginning. I've been expecting the same shit since the first time this happened. Yet I kept going back to you, hoping for better results in the end; hoping you had changed.
I can't say I'm not hurt, because I am. All I ever did was care about you. All you ever did was tell me lies...tell me things I wanted to hear...use me...leave me.
I can't say I won't miss you, because I will.
I can't say I don't love you, because I still do. I always have, I always will.
You keep breaking my heart; I keep loving you with all the little pieces. You keep lying, I keep believing.
You keep using me; I keep thinking you really love me.
You keep leaving; I keep waiting for you to come back.
I can't say I don't hate myself, because I do. I hate myself for believing your lies; I hate myself for still loving you.
I can't say I'm not confused, because I am.
I can't say I won't come back...chances are that I will.
I can't say that I'm happy & I'm better off without you. I'm not happy at all...I need you.
I can't say I'm not lonely, because I am. I need you now more than ever.
I can't say I'm not crying...if I did, I would be lying.
I can't say that I won't miss you; I definitely will. I can't stop thinking about how you lied to me; how this can't possibly be happening...again. You are every thought in my mind.
I can't say I'll stop crying & that I'll be fine. I can't stop; I won't be ok. I hurt. I bleed. I cry. I need.
I cannot say I'm surprised...because I'm not.
All I really can say is that I really only want you to be happy....that's all that matters.
....You obviously weren't happy with me.
