I just don't understand

Completely untamed delusion
caught up in this monotonous confusion days pass without number caught almost within a waking slumber

dreaming of something more but those dreams begin to quickly fade
going over them so many times in my head makes for a long day

rusting slowly is the fantasy
I'm beginning to think theres no more real joy and gladness left inside of me

theres nothing I really find that funny anymore nothing that makes me really smile I'm loosing myself more each day and I can only stand it for awhile

I'm trying desperately to figure this out I'm changing and I don't know why its making my every nerve stand on edge and my heart desperately cry

I'm in deep thought all the time now
but theres nothing left to think about I'm so confused it's not even funny and things are way crazed out