I've closed all doors

SO many things
wrong with my life
so many things
wrong with me

Depressed all the time
ugly on the outside
a freak on the inside
and weird all around

I'm lying to my mother
I'm lying to my self
I've got alot of problems
yet i don't get any help

Only i know whats wrong
just me that notices
I'm not getting by OK
I'm depressed all the time

Id like to think I'll be ok
that i can make it through another day
without any unwanted visits or calls
id like to be left alone by all

I'm a very quiet person by trait
i occasionally go out side but only late
i like the indoors more than the other
i hate the daylight so i don't bother

I'm as stubborn as hell
and wont give in
i bare long grudges
better than anyone
cause when i make up my mind
nothings going to change it

I've closed all doors
to kill the pain
I've rejected my friends
to kill it again

I've built a brick wall
to cut away from reality
dreaming of a better life
when i end it with a knife

Stumbling through life
i trip over hurdle's in my way
collapsing under the weight
and strife of everyday life.