Why is this Pain...

Why is this pain always growing
why is there never a new beginning
why must i suffer in silent tears
why must i be in the dark for out of these fears

can't you see this beauty this pain
as I walk in the alone in the rain
I don't want to be here at home
I want to wonder free and be on my own

you have always hurt me with your lies
this is why I'm hiding in my own disguise
you will never see and know the real me
because I'm nothing for you to be

and then you wonder why i have scars on my arm
and then i say it's nothing to fear just my own harm
you look into my eyes and what do you see
you see pain and hurt wanting to fly free

you can never seem to see my screaming
about all the things that i have been dreaming
the fantasies that can never come true
this life that has turned happy and not blue

but thats just a dream of me being in the dark
and knowing nothing standing there in the park
just wondering and dreaming about this life
will it ever end or will i have to end it with a knife

but I'll just have to wait and wonder for whats right
I'll stay here and write about this at night
nothing can stop me but this pain that I feel
no one knows who I am and if I'm only real