Why?
by Simple Sensation Sep 22, 2006
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You ask me why. |
Did You Like This Poem?
Latest Comments
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17 years ago
by Bridgette
I really, really like this poem. It starts out really sad and I really like the contrast of the questions and you answering them, and then it ends with you being strong and giving up the one thing that is holding you back. I think that this is a very inspirational piece. And I hope that many other people can get hope and strength from reading this. I think that you did an amazing job in writing this, it's very emotional and the flow was really good. 5/5
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17 years ago
by VioletRaven
I'd agree with Dumpstead and DarkSuicide on the technical aspects of parts to improve, but on the concept I think it was an interesting idea to have the two points of view, the questioning and attempting answers. I hope that eventually you find them.
A very difficult topic to write about, so well done for attempting to.
*VioletRaven* -
17 years ago
by Danni
THIS IS SOO GOOD!! i love it.
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17 years ago
Very sad. Very well written. And it is heart breaking to see someone make them self suffer so they can look "beautiful" 5/5
God Bless,
Taylor -
17 years ago
by Dumpstead
IF you are a sufferer of bulimia, please do not feel bad that I did not sympathize with you. Please remember that I comment only on the poem, not on your personality.
A rare and nice concept to write about, but I keep on telling everyone, please use punctuation. I will rewrite the first stanza so that you will have some idea.
You ask me why.
"Why do you cry?
Why do u make yourself slowly die?
Why, please tell me why."
Until the fifth stanza you believe in what you speak and in the fifth stanza, you question yourself? That spoils the reader's thought process and spoils the flow of the poem too. And then later you switch back to believing what you say.
Pay more attention to the structure and rhyming.
"Rather then live a lie?"?? Is it not "Rather than live a lie?" Chcek for typing and spelling mistakes before posting.
Long poem, but for me it's of just right length. One more stanza an dI would have wriiten it off as a long poem. But take mmore time, if you do suffer from it, be brave and understand it more clearly, take time to feel and express yourself again. I flt that you are in a hurry ot express what you have felt.
