Only way out

I told him I loved him..
And what did he say?
'I'll never love YOU. You're too damned ugly.'

Am I really that ugly?
Maybe he's right.
Maybe no one will love me.

So I sat in my bathroom.
Razor to wrist.
I scream at myself
'WHY DO I LIVE LIKE THIS?!'
I scream,
I cry,
I live,
I die.
Not yet though.

Razor still at my wrist..
It's straight edged blade gleams.
I stare at the mirror.
And continue my screams.
'I -AM- ugly. I -AM- hideous. I HATE ME!!'
I brush the blade against my skin,
In a quick, swift movement.
I stare at the blood, dripping down.
I smile, even laugh.
And tears streaming down my cheeks, I say:
'I can MAKE myself pretty. I -WILL- be pretty..'

I make art on my arms.
Cackling all the way.
Watching the blood make patterns down my wrists.
I carve the words: 'HELP ME' and laugh again.
Who cares what he said?
I give up on love.
Who would love ME?

I smile, and write in blood on the mirror:
'Am I pretty enough for ya? AM I?!'
I cackle maniacally at myself.
A mixture of emotions.
Crying,
Laughing,
Smiling,
Frowning.
My face makes many expressions.

I grin and go search for a knife.
I can make it to where no one has to deal with me!
I've gone crazy.
What is wrong with me?
Is this my only way out?
It is, I decide.

I hold the knife.
Positioned straight above my heart.
I think of everything that has happened.
All the things I've been through.
It sucks that 95% of it was bad, no?
I smile at myself in the bloody mirror.
The bloody words are now dripping.
I become dizzy.

So I end it before anything can stop me.
'Goodbye, mother. Goodbye friends. Goodbye all that I never knew. Goodbye my life, the hell I once went through!'
It pierces my skin,
Goes in so deep.
It seems I can feel it touch my spine.

Then suddenly,
Darkness.

Farewell, life.