The Mirror's Truth

Warm tears rolling down my blushed cheeks
My fists hurt and my knuckles are bleeding
My legs are in pain, my knees are strained
It's all a dance and I'm not leading.

My ears are shut to any other sound
Besides the sound of my partner panting
My mouth is silent to all other sounds
Besides the sound of my own life screaming.

My heart hurts, it's beating to fast
It's beating for a love that I lost long ago
It's beating for anger raging through my past
It's raging at how life is such a necessary cost.

So I stand here, with my partner in front of me
And I am screaming at the image of her face
I'm telling her she's crazy to even believe
That smiling will cover up everything, no matter the pace.

I cry at her vanity, I cry for her life
I cry with her now and then
Just to make myself feel alive
And before I scream, into the night, I try to count to ten.

So I stand here now, with tears running down my face
I look at my image in the mirrors truth
And realize it's all so sad and true
I still my beating heart and I turn away.

I walk away from a mirror of truth
I neglect the image walking the other way
I dry my tears and smile away my fears
And try to forget about everything I might hear myself say.

(c) Jane Lowe, 2006